Welcome to my home. Chardonnay?

I’m Kate. Founder, Marketer, Nice Person. 

But more, here >

A virtual slushie isn’t as cold as the real deal, but boy it stings.

Disclaimer: I binge watched Glee in the first few months of my maternity leave.

Did I just lose all my credibility as a professional consultant and marketer?

Probably. 

But until you have a turbo-charged she-demon 2 year old and a newborn hellbent on downing as much liquid gold all the while scratching through 3 layers of skin under your care, don’t judge.

YOU SURVIVE, NOT THRIVE.

Glee has all the hallmarks of a feel good time.

Impeccable singing.

Beautiful people.

Diversity. (for a show that started in 2006, well done, well done team.)

And every melodramatic high school problem faced by teens all over the world.

I’m Aussie so a lot of it doesn’t relate (school cafeteria serving you lunch everyday? WHY DIDN’T WE HAVE THAT!?) 

And I was lucky to have (and still have) a solid group of friends and none of this popularity-winning nonsense. (ok, ok, there were popular groups but everyone just went in their circles, not really going out of their way to destroy the lives of each other)(also I’m fully aware I’m a lucky one and my school was a unicorn. Moving on.)

BUT I can relate to the constant drama of trying to please people – or rock the status quo enough to be a bit interesting but not so interesting that people wouldn’t go near you with a quarter pounder and 6 McNuggets with sweet and sour dipping sauce (it’s THE only sauce option ok).

Even now I catch myself trying to please people. Only I do it on Instagram instead of on the billion steps at Braemar College 

Social media is one big high school cafeteria.

  • The influencers are the cheerleaders: They come across ‘stuck up’ but secretly doubting their worth (and having to work twice as hard as everyone thinks they are)
  • The big brands are the jocks: arrogant with the whole school behind them. A few good eggs, a few bad ones, a whole lotta rich ones.
  • The startups are the nerds: flaky, pale skin, with the constant eye flicker and nervous tics whenever a good looking girl walks by.
  • The small business owners are the art students: creative, big thinkers but always seem to be hustling while living off mi goreng and $1 menu items at Hungry Jacks.

And everyone else is, well, everyone else.

If you’ve watched Glee (don’t deny it.) you’ll know that every Glee member gets a customary ‘slushie’ just for being in Glee. (I have questions: Where do they buy them? Do American high schools HAVE SLUSHIE MACHINES? Why would you waste a perfectly good slushie?).

And just like the Glee cafeteria, the social media cafeteria has it’s own flavoured slushie. It’s a bit nicer, not too sweet and not as cold, but just as hard to clean off.

And what is it called? THE DM PITCH.  You know, the ol’ subtle direct message you write to an influencer or brand to work with you and they hit back with a ‘thanks but no thanks’. Or worse, ‘seen’ but no reply

As small business owners, we’d love to work with the popular guys. We want them to promote our work. We’d even pay them to do so. But we forget that, just like high school, E V E R Y O N E wants to work with them. They are not Hermione’s who can do multiple jobs and turn back time to do even more jobs. They are LIMITED.

So we have to figure out a way to stand out and get them to drink their slushie instead of throwing it in our faces.

And the answer is simple: charm them.

Swoon them.

Make them feel like they are the best thing since fairy bread and REMIND THEM CONSTANTLY.

Not in a creepy, stalkerish way of course. But stroke their ego by replying to their Instagram stories. Write witty captions on their photos. Start conversations with them regularly. Post about them. Share their posts. 

Then, only then, can you ask. 

And I assure you, you’ll only ever see or think of a slushie the next time you stumble into a 7/11 after a few too many wines. 

Like it? Share it? (Please?)

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on email
Email
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn

Let's get influential!

Hi! I’m Kate! This is my home where you’ll find about 80% marketing advice, 24.54% irreverent ramblings, 18.08% (un)necessary commentary on influencers and a 100% stocked liquor cabinet (yes, I passed Maths. Just). 

Enter your email address and I’ll send you (un)solicited advice on influencer marketing and life every other week.